It is easy to argue that Valentine’s Day is just another box on the calendar.
On the other hand, it can be a cold reminder that your love life isn’t what you’d like it to be.
Every day has the opportunity to be worthwhile, even a Valentine’s Day spent alone. Since love is in the air, it might be the perfect opportunity to enhance your love life.
I suggest that you try the following strategies:
1. Make a list of every partner you’ve ever had.
Include those that you only dated for a short period of time. Go all the way back to high school. Take your time and make a complete list.
2. Make a list of the positive attributes you’d like to see in your next partner.
You can do this by reviewing the list you just made and asking yourself what you liked about that particular person. Was it her/his sense of humor and her/his blue eyes? Or was it her/his sense of morality and the fact that she/he liked to watch football?
* Be thorough. Pour yourself a glass of wine/cup of tea or coffee and give this step the attention it deserves. You might have 20 attributes or even more.
* Next prioritise these attributes, so that you have your top dozen key attributes you can concentrate on. It is easier and more manageable to focus on 10/12 than 20+.
3. Consider the qualities you don’t want in your next partner. Avoiding the negative is just as important as highlighting the positive.
Go back through your list in step one. Did he/she always put his/her career first and didn’t have enough time for you? Did she/he spend too much time with her/his mother? Did he or she have their friends over every day? Was he/she a slob? Was she/he unstable?
4. Create a list of what you consider the best from the list of the positives.
So you know you would like a guy that has a great sense of humor. Of all the men and women you know, who has the best sense of humour? It could even be a character from TV, the movies, or a book. Define for yourself what – for YOU, is the perfect sense of humour, using a concrete example.
* Do this for all the positive qualities you listed in point 2 above.
5. Make a plan to find this incredible person.
Look at your desired characteristics and think about where this person might spend their time. A brainy woman might play chess, take night classes, or spend time at the bookstore. An athletic man probably plays recreational sports and spends time at the gym.
6. Give online dating a fair chance.
Online dating has some big advantages. There are lot of people with the same goal, and they’re right in front of you. You can also approach them via online message, eliminating the terror that comes with approaching a stranger in public. You can go through a lot of profiles while watching a movie from the comfort and safety of your home.
* Stay on task. Look for signs of your desirable attribute list. Avoid those profiles that demonstrate one or more of your undesired traits.
* Set a goal for how many people you’ll contact each day. Keep the number small. You’ll find that you can’t juggle very many at once. You might lose a great potential partner if you’re too distracted by too many emails.
7. Meet people in person.
At some point, the relationship has to move beyond the computer and your mobile/cell phone. Be careful, but be brave, too.
8. Keep your eyes open.
The great man or woman in line with you at the grocery store might be the one. All you have to do is open your mouth and say “hi.”
9. It can be a little depressing to spend Valentine’s day alone.
It can also be a great opportunity to take action and begin the process of finding someone new. Instead of sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself and eating too much junk food, take control of the situation by beginning the search for your perfect partner.
10. Ask The Universe for help in finding your ideal partner
- say out loud the list of your key 10/12 attributes that describe your ideal partner.
Brendah is a renowned Holistic Health & Wellness Coach and Mentor, who facilitates the connection of people’s big ‘Why’ and their intentions for their lives through what she calls The True Path To Transformation.